1 - Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2 - Wrinkles don''t hurt.

3 - Families are like fudge - mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4 - Todays' mighty oak is yesterdays' nut that held it's ground.

5 - Laughing is good exercise, it's like jogging on the inside.

6 - Middle age is when you chose your cereal for the fiber, not for the toy.

7- Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

8 - Don't buy health, and organically grown foods, you''ll need all the preservatives you can get.

9 - When your old and you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while your down there.

10 - You'll know your getting old when a rocking chair gives you the same sensation as a roller coaster.

11 - You'll know you are old when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to asks you any questions.

12 - Time is a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

And the bakers dozen 13th is: Wisdom comes with age, but age sometimes come alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE

1 - You believe in Santa Clause

2 - You don't believe in Santa Clause

3 - You are Santa Clause

4 - You look like Santa Clause

SUCCESS;

At age 4 success is   ..... not peeing your pants.

At age 12 success is ..... having friends.

At age 17 success is ..... having a drivers license.

At age 35 success is ..... having money. 

At age 50 success is ..... having money. 

At age 70 success is ..... having a drivers license. 

At age 75 success is ..... having friends. 

At age 80 success is ..... not peeing in your pants. 

No I'm not a genius, well I am, but I didn't make these up. A friend sent them to me in an email, and I though I''d share them with you. If you know of any other enlightening events people encounter while dealng witht the idiosyncrasies of life, share them with us in the comment section.

See also; Great Truths Little Children Have Learned